A phenomoneon I’ve long suspected but never really had the chance to explore. There are books devoted to this subject. I must confess one of these little self-help gems is on the floor next to my bed. Great advice, however, I find that when I like a guy, I can't HELP but be nice...accomodating...which leads to me being COMPLETELY taken for granted.
But it's AMAZING how easy being a bitch comes to me #1. while i'm working. #2. when I'm NOT ineterested in the particular guy and #3. when I'm on a self-proclaimed dating hiatus. SO I engaged in the following txt exchange not with the alterior motives suggested in the afore mentioned non-fiction, just under fircumstances #1-3. I inadvertantly tested this theory and good god - the nice thing is overrated.
Background: This is a man (The Professor) who I briefly fooled around with when I first moved here. So I was 22, he was 27ish. We never did much outside of his apartment, I started to get attached, wanted to date, he wanted someone older (i.e. not me), we stopped chatting. Then the acquaintence was accidentially renewed when ran into eachother (he was teaching at the grad school I was attending)…and I had this teacher fantasy….blah blah blah. Again, it didnt end in a dating scenario.
ANYWAYS I have not seen this man in about 2 years but apparently I Imd him Friday night at 4 a.m. (I think I Imd everyone at 4 a.m.) So he’s been txting me. I should also mention that #1. I gave up the f*ck-buddy/friends w/ benefits scenario a looong time ago. #2. I have since dated MUCH cuter, smarter, and sexier boys…I have upgraded…I’m over it.
After blowing him off for a few days, here are excerpts from our exchange (with obvious translations and interpretations):
Hi
Sup?
How is the hottest girl in DC?
But it's AMAZING how easy being a bitch comes to me #1. while i'm working. #2. when I'm NOT ineterested in the particular guy and #3. when I'm on a self-proclaimed dating hiatus. SO I engaged in the following txt exchange not with the alterior motives suggested in the afore mentioned non-fiction, just under fircumstances #1-3. I inadvertantly tested this theory and good god - the nice thing is overrated.
Background: This is a man (The Professor) who I briefly fooled around with when I first moved here. So I was 22, he was 27ish. We never did much outside of his apartment, I started to get attached, wanted to date, he wanted someone older (i.e. not me), we stopped chatting. Then the acquaintence was accidentially renewed when ran into eachother (he was teaching at the grad school I was attending)…and I had this teacher fantasy….blah blah blah. Again, it didnt end in a dating scenario.
ANYWAYS I have not seen this man in about 2 years but apparently I Imd him Friday night at 4 a.m. (I think I Imd everyone at 4 a.m.) So he’s been txting me. I should also mention that #1. I gave up the f*ck-buddy/friends w/ benefits scenario a looong time ago. #2. I have since dated MUCH cuter, smarter, and sexier boys…I have upgraded…I’m over it.
After blowing him off for a few days, here are excerpts from our exchange (with obvious translations and interpretations):
Hi
Sup?
How is the hottest girl in DC?
Fine - when did I win THAT contest? (oh PULAH-EESE)
Confirmed bachelors of DC took a poll (at least he's creative)
Great - nice to know I'm loved (eye roll)
Whatcha up to?
Good! Busy. Working. (i.e. hello – I’m annoyed, talk to me later. ) You work too much - And don’t spend enough time keeping me entertained at work
no time (stop making my phone vibrate!)
You should call me this weekend if you’re bored
I’m seldom bored – so you’ll have to give me another reason
Call me if you want me to XXXXXX (edited to keep this blog at least rated PG-13 minimum)
Haha! I rarely call men but if would like to take me out, I’m free next week (i.e. I will NOT be your booty call, because I’m fabulous and you... not so much – so if you want to hang out with me there should at least be dinner involved. HEY a girl’s gotta eat!)
I am leaving on Sunday for a trip
Well Have Fun! (yea! Conversation over?)
Wow you’re passing on this weekend that quickly? (persistant little bastard)
I don’t have time for you to take me out this weekend
Shame, I miss you (since when do you even THINK about me? Ohhh…since I started not caring?)
I’m sorry – just booked we’ll do something when you get back
Oh well - When you get done with your lame date on Friday night then call me
Who said it was a date? And I don’t call men
Then I’ll call you when your lame “non date is at its lowest point (I have a date…with a group of girls and a martini the size of my face...not that he needs this detail)
Expect a call from me
Um…Ok – can’t promise I’ll answer, or meet up…(just being honest)
I’ll be convincing
Cant wait (should be good bloging material if nothing else)
Where are you going out?
Dupont
Very nice, I’ll be sure to be by to pick you up when you start to yawn
Uh huh (who are you? I’m sure I’ll be albe to get back to my apartment fine by myself)
Yawn? Who says I’ll be sleepy?
Oh I know you won’t those yawns will be to make him go home early. Just send him to a markup vote when you get bored (making fun of the fact that I once dated a government official)
Haha – we’ll see
We shall – I hope you wear something fun
Ur getting ahead of yourself
I’m trying to help you on your date
Well thank you, Yenta
My pleasure
Good lord. Should be interesting to see if he does in fact try to hook up with me tonight. Don't worry, I am in NO danger whatsoever of being seduced by the Professor.
But why is this? Why do men ALWAYS want what they cant have? Be nice to a guy and he takes you for granted, gets bored, and you eventaully break up. Be mean, bitchy, and uninterested and he'll chase you until you get a restraining order or sprain your ankle...whichever comes first. And then men complain about girls being bitches!!! You drive us to it, boys! We're not born like this naturally - we're NICE we WANT to do nice things we WANT to show affection WITHOUT it coming back to bite us in the ass! Ugh - maybe that's my problem. I just need to be in bitch mode 24/7 - after all, I do it very well.
Ya'll have a GREAT weekend!
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