Thursday, February 8, 2007

Coliseum Worthy Battle?

I’ve never been a HUGE fan of the Super bowl. As you all know my pigskin predilections tend toward Collegiate rather than the professional athletes of the sport but nonetheless with Da Bears making their first championship appearance in several decades and an all Midwestern bowl game – I had to watch. So I settled myself down, engulfed in The Russian’s oversized college sweatshirt, some boxer shorts and my fuzzy zebra print slippers (yes – I looked hot), opened up a Yuengling and prepared for a good match up. 

And with an opening 92 yard return to score a touchdown in thd first 20 seconds of the game – I thought – we’re in for one hellava game…or one hellava blood blath. Either way – should be fun.

Well, I was wrong. 

Well before Prince – or the artist formerly known as – took the stage for a less than memorable purple-clad freak show – I was yawning in my beer. So thank goodness for my entertainment salvation of the evening – ROME. 

ROME – that ancient republic, oratorical Mecca, hedonistic breeding ground, and now top-rated HBO series – you saved me from two more quarters of over-hyped, disinterested Sunday evening mediocrity. 

But, Scarlett, how could an HBO series could possibly surpass the Super bowl on the A/V meter 'o entertainment? You may ask? 

Please indulge me as I enumerate the reasons why HBO's ROME surpassed Superbowl XLI

FCC squashed all nudity and sexually inappropriate humor or content making the entertainment surrounding the athletic displays child friendly and adult sedating Nudity that would make even Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction look a mere trifle at a Sunday school gathering
Taking dozens of uniformed, padded down men, putting them in an arena, and setting them loose over a footballTaking dozens of scantily clad men, putting them in an arena, and …well anything goes!
Bears vs. ColtsRedheaded Power Struggle
Peyton Manning avoiding being sackedAtia of the Julii avoiding being poisoned
Half-time show involves Prince singing his rendition Proud MaryHalf-time show involves sniveling spy getting beaten to a bloody pulp because "if the confession isn't obtained through torture, it's not legal"
Five turnovers due to slippery hands and in climate weather4 turnovers as Octavian defeats Mark Antony and begins his march into ROME; Atia thwarts Servilia's attempt at murder; Servilia is saved by the corrupt Jewish servant who seeks redemption; Verenus is found and saves his children

This striking comparison begs the question – have we advanced as a society and as a species or deteriorated over time? Clearly we have evolved if we are entertained by merely the tossing and running of a ball vs. mutilation by wild animals, and literal mortal combat for our amusement. We now reserve those activities as pastimes of the statesmen rather than of the citizens – a spectacle best viewed in private and away from the huddled masses.
Additionally – who’s to say we have actually evolved when we no longer require actual human sacrifices to get our daily fill of violence? When we are now capable of satiating our hunger for those deeds to which gladiators owe their fame through special effects, high definition TV and the imagination of screenwriters, directors and Steven Spielberg.

Frankly, I would be curious to explore just why this is – that we seek to see such horrors in order to be entertained – ROME, 24, The Sopranos. Is it because these scenes depict actions and violence we ourselves are incapable or unwilling to inflict on others? Or perhaps it makes us feel fortunate about our every day lives that no matter how bad they get….we’re not being fed to the lions…not literally anyway.

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Wednesday, February 7, 2007

YOS Status Report (1 of 12)

And so, dear friends. We are 1/12th of the way through 2007, I thought I’d provide you with a YOS status report. If you will recall, the goals of Year Of Scarlett were to take better care of myself (go to the gym, be healtier, go to the dr.); be productive; take better care of friendships, get rid of negative drama-covered people. 

How are we doing so far? Let’s recap, shall we? 

Days in the Gym: 13
Trips to the Vending Machine: 8 (BOO - I know)
Pounds Lost: 5 (Lost 8, Gained 3)
Hangovers: 2
Milestones: Broke up with Canadian (twice now – once over NYE, once last Tuesday night). I believe this is a milestone because #1. I have proven that I can stand up for myself and say 'I will not be treated this way' 'I'm better than this' and 'this is NOT what I want'. While I have always been a strong woman - and am the first to get feisty and kick some ass defending my friends, I have always been reluctant to stand up for myself where relationships are concerned. A product of being a middle child? Having braces and glasses as a kid? Not getting a pony at the age of 7? Who knows. Secondly this is indeed a first for me as I recognized that something was bad for me despite wanting it at the same time - and saying 'no'. 

Fell in love lust with The Russian and am trying my hand at a HEALTHY relationship. This is definitely a first. And a journey into new territory. I hope I have throurally prepared him and having known me for the better part of a decade he has a fair idea of what he's in for (quick temper, passionate, flirty, uber social, a tad crazy). If nothing else, it should be a wild ride. 

COMING UP - February is off to a FANTASTIC start! My workouts and diet are all in line (can i just say thighs and @ss.....OOOWWW! i'm in pain. whimper. fuss fuss.) But I WILL be skinny, toned dammit.

Singles awareness day is coming up - and while the Russian will arrive in town shortly after these cherubic festivities - I will be spending the dreaded Hallmark Holiday alone. 

Anyone feel like cracking open a bottle of red with me??

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Friday, February 2, 2007

To Celebrate the Feast of Brigid

I have always loved poetry. It was my literary upbringing, my bedtime stories (The Wreck of the Hesperus, The Highwayman, Winkin Blinkin & Nod), My fantasy world (The Lady of Shalott), My historical education (Paul Revere's Ride, In Flanders Fields, O! Captain! My Captain!, The High Tide at Gettysburg), and laid roots from which moral and ethical foundation were laid (IF, The Goops)
And so it was with great surprise and delight that I stumbled upon Candy Sandwich's post today, detaling the following:

Second Annual Brigid in Cyberspace Poetry Reading

WHAT: A Bloggers (Silent) Poetry Reading

WHEN: Anytime February 2, 2007

WHERE: Your blog

WHY: To celebrate the Feast of Brigid, aka Groundhog Day

HOW: Select a poem you like - by a favorite poet or one of your own - to post February 2nd.

RSVP: If you plan to publish, feel free to leave a comment and link on this post. So, link to whoever you hear about this from and a mighty web of poetry will be spun.

Feel free to pass this invitation on to any and all bloggers.

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By Emily Dickenson
I gave myself to him,
And took himself for pay.
The solemn contract of a life
Was ratified this way

The value might disappoint,
Myself a poorer prove
Than this my purchaser suspect,
The daily own of Love

Depreciates the sight;
But, 'til the merchant buy,
Still fabled, in the isles of spice
The subtle cargoes lie.

At least, 'tis mutual risk,—
Some found it mutual gain;
Sweet debt of Life,—each night to owe,
Insolvent, every noon.

Thursday, February 1, 2007

The Hottest Love, Has the Coldest End -- Socrates

I returned from the SouthWest rejuvenated if a bit sore…from climbing a mountain (lest you have your head in the gutter). And I will elaborate more on that spur of the moment jaunt later on – (thank you, William Shattner and

Reality however, waited for me at the arrival gate in the form an innocent beeping noise coming from the oh so cute CCP (cherry chocolate phone). “New Voicemail” it dinged. Not thinking anything of it I pressed the voicemail button, typed in my passcode, held the phone to my ear and out came the words ‘hi, baby’ in a northern accent. It was the Canadian. Ya know, it’s quite the trick to say goodbye to your boyfriend, fly 4 and 1/2 hours across the country only to have your OTHER boyfriend ready to greet you on the other side. 

I saw him for the first time in 9 months last night. It was very surreal. I tried to keep an open mind. An objective mind away from my thoughts and feelings for the Russian and focus solely on the problems and issues between the Canadian and myself. There I was, at a romantic corner table for two in a dimly lit Italian restaurant, sitting across from a man I thought I could spend the rest of my life with and strangely enough, I didn’t want to be there. In fact, the longer I sat there, the angrier I became. For reasons too numerous to detail in a single post, dear reader, though I suppose I could break them out into a string of posts with such titles as “I’m a grown woman and can make my OWN f*cking decisions”, “It’s been 3 years and I haven’t met your friends” and “Life in Relationship Purgatory.” 

Did he open up? Yes. Did we have a frank and honest discussion? Yes. Was anything resolved? Well….?? Mr. C thought that because he did open up to me about things he was thinking and feeling that got him out of the dog house. What he does NOT understand is that I’m tired of waiting at the end of this emotional tunnel for him to navigate his way out without a compass. 

Sharing feelings, while definitely a step in the right direction doesn’t begin to cover the amount of emotional distance between us but rest assured, I shared some feelings of my own:

Mr. C: Look at me! I’m being emotional and talking about my feelings
Scarlett: Take a look at THIS emotion – it’s called pissed off!
Mr. C: Don’t you care that I’m opening up? Doesn’t this fix everything between us?
Scarlett: Mr. C, unless your opening up involves a REAL relationship in which we function away from my apartment twice a year and into the real world where we don’t have MY friends or YOUR friends…we have OUR friends, where we spend holidays together, where we make an effort to see each other and be involved in each other’s lives…then what we have here is a failure to give a sh*t about emotional expression. 

Mr. C did not handle this well. I was belittling his emotions. Honestly, this was not my intent! I didn’t mean to be so cold. So angry. There was a time, not so very long ago, that this gesture – minute as it may be, would have sustained me through another 6 months. But not this time. And I was sorry. But the mere fact that I said your friends are in town – am I going to meet them?’ and he said ‘no’. ….

I gave him an out. A way to fix it. A way to keep me. Another chance. And he didn’t take it. I think that’s what upsets me the most. That I have been running after a man who doesn’t care enough to salvage this relationship, suck it up, and do what is necessary to keep me. I’m not worth that to him. And that’s what kills me. 

Ya know what else kills me? I feel guilty. I FEEL GUILTY about leaving him. I feel guilty about wanting to be happy. I've been there for him - put up with his shit and now I feel guilty about wanting someone who wants to build a life with me. I know logically this makes no sense. But I feel like such a shitty person because I sit across the table from him and while I care, I'm not in love with him. 

So I said, can we take our relationship down a notch since you're not ready to give me what I want. And he made me feel like I was tearing his heart out. And so he got up from the table. I asked him to sit back down and talk. He took his coat. I turned.

Mr. C: I'm your boyfriend. You can't treat me like this.
Scarlett: You walk out that door and you're not my boyfriend anymore.

Mr. C turned and walked away. Leaving me stunned. Leaving me angry. Leaving me with the bill.


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