Dear Blog,
I’ve been away. Probably because I see the darkness of my last post as a hole I need to crawl out from – but I figure I’ll just post and most on and I will eventually be burry it in the archives.
I’ve been away. Probably because I see the darkness of my last post as a hole I need to crawl out from – but I figure I’ll just post and most on and I will eventually be burry it in the archives.
Quick update.
I got married. Three months ago.
So far marriage hasn’t been all champagne, roses and
unprotected sex. But it hasn’t been all terrible either. I guess that’s what
happens when you tend to have a black and white view of the world. You end up
in a purgatory of grey fog. It’s a danger swinging high and low. Keeping up the
momentum alone leaves one emotionally parched and hard…like a brittle sponge.
I moved to the suburbs. With a house. A husband. And a dog. Idyllic.
Lovely. Check that box.
I love them. But I miss the city. Getting lost in it. The anonymity.
My best friend moved away. I’m lonely.
It’s easy to blame my husband or my marriage for my loneliness.
He moved me away. If I could be in Dupont right now, walk out my door, feel the
city swirling around me, perhaps I wouldn’t feel so stuck. Maybe I’d see more prospects
for my future than having babies , mopping the kitchen floor or whatever other
monotonous domestic cliché comes to mind. Even though I WANT kids and an nice
home, etc.
And, as ever, I’m being dramatic because if I Were single, I’d
be bemoaning my last date, the hopelessness of romantic prospects, and the inevitability
of growing old alone.
There’s no pleasing me it seems.
There never is.
And so I turn back to you, old friend. Dear, Blog. With your
blank pages yet to be written ready to catch whatever nonsense my fingers punch
out into the ether. Please have patience with me if my words lack eloquence. If I don't check back as often as I should. Relationships of any kind take work and time and I can't make any promises as to my level of committment or enthusiasm. Writing is hard. Writing the truth is even harder.
Frankly,