Thursday, October 3, 2013

Dear Blog, Remember Me?

Dear Blog,

I’ve been away. Probably because I see the darkness of my last post as a hole I need to crawl out from – but I figure I’ll just post and most on and I will eventually be burry it in the archives.

Quick update.

I got married. Three months ago.

So far marriage hasn’t been all champagne, roses and unprotected sex. But it hasn’t been all terrible either. I guess that’s what happens when you tend to have a black and white view of the world. You end up in a purgatory of grey fog. It’s a danger swinging high and low. Keeping up the momentum alone leaves one emotionally parched and hard…like a brittle sponge.

I moved to the suburbs. With a house. A husband. And a dog. Idyllic. Lovely. Check that box.

I love them. But I miss the city. Getting lost in it. The anonymity.

My best friend moved away. I’m lonely.

It’s easy to blame my husband or my marriage for my loneliness. He moved me away. If I could be in Dupont right now, walk out my door, feel the city swirling around me, perhaps I wouldn’t feel so stuck. Maybe I’d see more prospects for my future than having babies , mopping the kitchen floor or whatever other monotonous domestic cliché comes to mind. Even though I WANT kids and an nice home, etc.

And, as ever, I’m being dramatic because if I Were single, I’d be bemoaning my last date, the hopelessness of romantic prospects, and the inevitability of growing old alone.

There’s no pleasing me it seems.  

There never is.

And so I turn back to you, old friend. Dear, Blog. With your blank pages yet to be written ready to catch whatever nonsense my fingers punch out into the ether. Please have patience with me if my words lack eloquence. If I don't check back as often as I should. Relationships of any kind take work and time and I can't make any promises as to my level of committment or enthusiasm. Writing is hard. Writing the truth is even harder.  

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1 comment:

Ó'Cuinn said...

Glad you've updated :) I was thinking about doing the same and an old comment you posted on my blog linked me back to here!

I was also moved away by my love and I totally can relate with the loneliness. Making new friends is hard! Hope you blog again some time.