Family Values

Baby Sis is twenty-five.

Baby Sis is pregnant.

Baby Sis is unmarried.

In my family….this is NOT cool. Have I mentioned my family? They really need no introduction – just picture a ‘My Big, Fat Greek Wedding’ mob – only Irish (duh)! Which means they’re louder, have quicker tempers, and are usually drinking.

Back to Baby Sis. Thankfully, she happens to be currently living with her wonderful boyfriend (now fiancé, thanks to my father’s ability to put the fear of death and god into the men that attempt to date his children). This man (we shall call him “blue eyes”) is loved my our family and so the pregnancy scenario is not QUITE the crisis situation you would imagine.

However, they will NOT be married by the time our little bundle of Irish Joy arrives (much to my father’s horror and I have no doubt the Red antecessors of old are turning summersaults in their respective crypts and graves) is because Baby Sis refuses to get married unless she can drink at the wedding (ya, you heard me right). Very responsible, Baby Sis, very responsible. Of course, maybe you should have tried responsible about FIVE MONTHS AGO AND USED A CONDOM! I should note that despite my personal opinion I have been her cheerleader and extremely supportive of the marriage and baby.

But I digress - back to the wedding. Baby Sis called me last week (during the Michigan State game half-time actually because we were both watching…) to tell me they had set the date for next August. Lovely. And then we preceded to joke and she promised me she would not sick me in a full length, full skirt, velvet gown nightmare the likes of which we were forced to sport as Big Sis’ (“Princess”) bridesmaids a few years ago.

Then last night I get a call from Princess (who I usually avoid) to tell me that Baby Sis has chosen her wedding party. “So are you on bachelorette duty or am i?” I asked half sarcastically. She paused and said ‘are you sitting down?” “ya” “neither” “huh?” “we, as in her big sisters, are NOT in the wedding party.” “what? ” “she’s having the GROOMS two sisters, OUR sister-IN-LAW, and her best friend FROM HIGH SCHOOL …that’s it”

(cue redheaded temper) “EXCUSE ME?? Does Dad know? ” “Uh-huh and he claims he’s not going to Baby Sis’ wedding. Sally (Dad’s wife) says it’s ridiculous and he is of course going and its her decision.”

Now I know that brides usually have to deal with hurting at least a few feelings and that we all have to be understanding of their decisions. And lord knows I'm already in my share of nuptual celebrations, hardly my favorite pasttime but...COME ON! There is not ONE blood relative slated to be next to her on her wedding day. And before you ask, we have not been fighting, had a falling out or ANYTHING like that.

So here is where I need your advice, kids. Do I tell her that we’re very hurt? Should I do as Princess suggests and just let it go and be glad we don’t have to do sh*t for the wedding and sit in the back of the church and make sarcastic comments the entire time? Do you agree with me this this is F*CKED UP???

Where’s Ann Landers when you need her?





P.S. While we're on the subject of outrage - Jeffery as the winner on Project Runway!? WTF?