Wednesday, October 18, 2006

A Bit About Redheads

First let me say, this is not meant to be a dig to my Blonde friends, ya'll are fabulous. These are just jokes and should be taken as such. A friend sent this along to good, I just HAD to share!

A young man marrying a redhead asked his father for some marital advice. The father said, "Just remind her who wears the pants in your family." The evening arrived, the new husband tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here put these on." She did and said "I don't fit into these." "That's right!" he said, "and don't you forget who wears the pants in this family!"...... With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He looked at them and said, "I can't get into your panties!" She said, "That's right - and you won't until your attitude changes!"

What do you call a redhead walking between two blondes?...An interpreter.

What's the Redhead Dating Motto?
The fastest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.

Q: What's the true definition of a blonde?
A: Redhead with the fire of passion missing.

Differences Between Good Girls and Redheads

*Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot.
*Redheads make it hot by loosening a few buttons.

*Good girls wax their floors.
*Redheads wax their bikini lines.

*Good girls blush during sex scenes in a movie.
*Redheads know they could do it better.

*Good girls wear white cotton panties.
*Redheads don't wear any.

*Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls.
*Redheads think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls.

*Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it.
*Redheads only own one bra and rarely use it.

*Good girls pack their toothbrush.
*Redheads pack their diaphragms.

*Good girls wear high heels to work.
*Redheads wear high heels to bed.

*Good girls think the office is the wrong place to have sex.
*Redheads think no place is the wrong place.

*Good girls prefer the missionary position.
*Redheads do too, but only for starters.

*Good girls say 'no'.
*Redheads say 'when?'

*Good girls say "Thanks for a wonderful dinner."
*Redheads say, "What's for breakfast?"

*Good girls keep a diary.
*Redheads keep a blog.

*Good girls love Italian food.
*Redheads love Italian waiters.

*Good girls will apologize, brown nose and kiss YOUR ass.
*Redheads will tell ya to kiss MY ass.

How do you know when you've had sex with a redhead?
If you are dehydrated, can't walk, and have blood running down your back

What do you do when a redhead is pissed at you?
Run like hell and don't look back.

Redheads are the sweetest most innocent girls.........when they are asleep.

What is the difference between a redhead and a lawyer ?
There are somethings that even lawyers won't do to people...

Why do redheads think they're special?
It's amazing what arrogance and a lack of sensitivity will do for your ego...

What is the difference between dating a redhead and putting your hand into ablender?
You got a 50/50 chance the blender isn't on...

This goes out to all my favorite Reds - KassyK, CrazyNY, Life of Red

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