Maybe it was because of the stress of the day. Maybe it’s just because I’m frustrated at work because I don’t know where to begin on a new project. Maybe it’s because when I walked into my bathroom this evening, the vanity lights that hang over my mirror had fallen off the wall and were hanging precariously by two, rather thin, electrical-looking wires…Just the way they were this morning when I told apartment maintenance about the problem and was assured it would be remedied by 5:00 p.m.!
Maybe I was mad at myself for not getting my butt out of bed this morning and going to the gym and my oh-so-cute little black skirt was feeling..little-r than usual. Maybe I was frustrated at one of my VPs for turning a simple, rational project into an arbitrary, unorganized MESS!
Maybe it was because my friends, including Barbies #1, #2 AND #3 are no where to be found! #1 is off in Paris with a beautiful man having lovely sex, Parisian style; #2 is lamenting the fact that her boyfriend just started his first year in law school; and #3 is just plain MIA.
Maybe I was pissed at myself for not having plans on a Wednesday night. What happened to the dating MACHINE that WAS Irish Red?? Well let me tell ya, she was stupid. She broke all her rules. She cared a little too much about someone who she professed meant nothing (WPB). And it’s come back to bite her in the ass!
Of course it didn’t help that all of her favorite CDs now remind her of him or that she happened to be playing said CDs constantly. Either that or reflective, acoustic music to slit your wrists by recordings (ala Joni Mitchell) – leaving her ultimately uninspired romantically.
Oh sure, she still flirts, and even gives out the occasional phone number (something she should really start to curb …Mr. Theology called yesterday!). But even the male attention wasn’t as gratifying as it used to be. Maybe THAT was it, ultimately she was sick and tired of thinking about him. Emotionally exhausted. Why wasn’t he as utterly unforgettable as the rest of her short-lived romantic trysts?
Because he kept calling? Because she kept answering the phone? Because she broke her rules for him? Because he was the first man in 6 months not to declare his undying affections after two dates? Because she took the time to get to know him? Honestly, she feels like SUCH an idiot! I KNOW I KNOW he’s a jerk! He slept with who KNOWS how many women over the course of our 6 week involvement and let’s not forget the threesome incident!
UGH! Maybe she had been on one too many bad dates and it was nice to know she’d have a good time (the devil you know…and all). Maybe it’s because I don’t have anything or anyone else distracting me at the moment. Lord knows I don’t want a relationship….but…I guess I wasn’t ready to end it and I have a problem with that - call it my need to control a situation? Discussion for another entry perhaps?
Well, dahlings, you’ll be happy to know though that through this ranting, I have calmed down a great deal since I first sat down to write**. I even think that incorporating my WPB rant was somewhat therapeutic. So thank you for indulging me this evening.
The world's smallest balcony...
Yes, I am feeling much better. I’m sitting on the world’s smallest balcony overlooking downtown, DC, sipping on a glass of wine, smoking my precious Marlboro Ultra Lights, and attempting to exhale all the problems of the day through either the smoke or these laptop keys before I inhale the stress of the morning.
* OC takes credit for her words of wisdom
** And the maintenence guy came up and fixed my lighting situation after I complained, so again, day got a bit better towards the end
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