The old saying “When it rains, it pours” has always rang true for me throughout my romantic endeavors. All I have ever needed to get a date, should I desire it, is another date and boom! It’s like someone sent out a f*cking press release to ever man I’ve ever met or will happen across in the recent future
– NEWS RELEASE – Scarlett is on a date! This is the PERFECT time to renew your acquaintance, speak to her on the metro, hit on her while she’s out or declare your undying love and affection if you haven’t already!
I’m not saying it’s more men than I can HANDLE mind you, just more than is typical of the Scarlett circle-o-romance.
I have decided against the FB relationship (on the sage advice of the blog-o-sphere). However, while he’s out of the running he refuses to get out of my inbox (tres annoying). The Canadian has been unusually amorous of late and for reasons already enumerated and yet to be addressed down in this post, dear reader, these attentions for which I’ve prayed are not entirely welcome at the present time. Nevertheless, he is planning a week down here at the end of the month. Whether it comes to fruition or not is anyone’s guess.
This past week I have also been asked out on the metro, asked out by a bartender and a bouncer in the same night….in the same bar (THAT was fun!), an ex called from out of the blue and most significantly…..I fell in love lust this week.
We shall call him The Russian. I’ve actually known him for years (eight to be exact). We went to college together, he was in my brother fraternity, a year or two ahead of me. We’ve always been friendly, enjoyed mutual friends, he dated one of my sorority sisters and while we were never exceedingly close by any means but found ourselves in many social situations in college (mostly social as he was a Physics major and so our academic paths never really crossed), but always enjoyed each other’s company. I always thought he was extremely attractive (textbook Scarlett type: tall, dark, smart, outgoing and handsome) but he was rarely single and so nothing but harmless flirtation ever took place. However, I do recall an incident involving a keg stand, jell-o shots and a mid-term paper (I’m a bit fuzzy on the details) in which we became a little friendly but it was really nothing to speak of.
So imagine my surprise and delight when a ‘New Friend Request’ (oh you know it – you know it well) popped up on my Myspace inbox sometime last year! After a few email exchanges I was delighted to learn that he was living out west, doing well, recently finished a stint in the air force and was happily married (ok so I wasn’t so delighted about that last tidbit of info but whatcha gonna do?).
But as luck would have it I received yet another email a few weeks ago letting me know that he was coming to DC for work this week and that he wanted to get together.
Well, kids, to make a long story brief and PG-13 friendly he got here on Friday and I met him for drinks with friends, more drinks with different friends Saturday (where I learned he was on the front end of a divorce…so sad), Sunday was Chinese food and a movie at my place, (all strictly platonic outings btw) Monday night was the BCS game at the page followed by a marathon of conversation until 4 a.m. when he kissed me or..maybe I kissed him – anyway there was kissing….and we stayed up the rest of the night…not…talking. Tuesday was divine exhaustion, an amazing dinner of Moroccan food while doing a lot of smiling, hand-holding and goofy looks (yes – we were THAT couple. I’ve NEVER been that couple and quite frankly, I HATE that couple). Tonight it will be oysters at Old Ebbit.
Yes, friends. Your dear Scarlett is in love lust, exhausted from averaging around 4 hours of sleep a night, grinning like she’s 16 and dating the captain of the football team, and has enough butterflies in her stomach to do…whatever it is that butterflies …do.
No, we’re not ‘together’ as he lives far far away and will be spending the next 6 months even farther away….in Vienna (where I will be going this spring at his invitation) not to mention that, well, technically and legally speaking he still has a WIFE. However, we’re just going to see what happens and until then – it will be, at the risk of sounding trite: The Best Week Ever!
As for the Canadian – I have no idea. And yes, it was very emotionally confusing to hear from him today as I was receiving ‘I miss you’ txts from the Russian. I’m trying to keep them as separate entities but if nothing else comes of this emotional clusterf*ck, I have realized a few things about the Canadian. Things that I want – that I don’t think he is either capable of or willing to give me. I thought these were things I could compromise on, things that were superfluous, things I was being too demanding to ask for.
But now, I realize that is not the case and that I need, want, and deserve verbal emotional confirmation – it need not be excessive, but It needs to be there. I need, want and deserve little public displays of affection – a hand held, a kiss hello, an arm around me. I need, want and deserve to be appreciated and told ‘please don’t ever change.’ ‘Tell me more about YOU – I’d like to get to know you as much as I can.’ ‘I thought about you all day’. Etc.
And where is the cynical Scarlett you know and love? Oh she’s alive an kickin, not to worry I’m not eloping this weekend, no Elivs Chapels 'O Love in my future…my eyes are wide open.
But I’ve let go. And frankly, I intend to enjoy the ride.
NEW DELHI (Reuters) - Condoms designed to meet international size specifications are too big for many Indian men as their penises fall short of what manufacturers had anticipated, an Indian study has found.
"One of the reasons for a failure of up to 20 percent (of condoms) is the association of the size of the condom to the erect penis," the council's Dr. Chander Puri told Reuters, adding another reason was couples often put them on in a hurry.
‘Good news, Scarlett. It’s all in your head"
