Thursday, August 31, 2006

College Football Appreciation Week

It occurred to me this week that college football is one of the only sports that doesn't have some sort of season kickoff extravaganza/spectacle, like college basketball's Midnight Madness, the NFL's annual Bon Jovi or Sheryl Crow concert, baseball's Opening Day festivities and hockey's ... actually, it's usually weeks before I realize the hockey season has started. Ladies and gentlemen, I hereby proclaim this to be the first College Football Appreciation Week. Below are just a few reasons why College Football rules and the NFL will never inherit the earth:

1) Fight songs performed by actual, live bands and written prior to 2003.
2) Tailgating at The Golfcourse rather than some municipal parking lot.
3) Cheerleaders without silicone.
4) Stadiums without retractable roofs.
5) Players who actually make mistakes sometimes.
6) Star players who actually care about practices.
7) Coaches who actually talk about things other than safety blitzes from time to time.
8) Coaches who go for it on fourth-and-2.
9) Rivals that only play each other once a year.
10) Teams that still run the option.
11) Mobile quarterbacks who are actually allowed to run.
12) Walk-ons.
13) Students who dress up to go to the games.
14) Students who can roll out of bed and walk to the stadium.
15) Games with national-title implications in September.
16) Games with national-title implications in October.
17) Bear Bryant barking from a JumboTron seconds before Alabama takes the field.
18) A Seminole on a horse riding to midfield and throwing a flaming spear.
19) The Vol Walk, The Tiger Walk, the Dawg Walk, et al.
20) Every other tradition at every other school I haven't already mentioned.

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