Thursday, October 12, 2006
How much is your purity worth?
As someone who generally scorns forwards, when my friend sent me this yesterday, I had to immediately take the test. I’m not sure what my obsession is. Perhaps I like to see how my score ranks compared to that of my friend; perhaps I like to see how much I’ve strayed from my catholic school upbringing. Either way, I can’t stop myself from taking these Purity-type tests.From the following list, add up the monetary value of what you’ve done… My mother would be so ashamed of me... I hit $610.60.Smoked pot -- $10Did acid -- $5Ever had sex at church -- $25Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40Had sex with someone on MySpace -- $25Had sex for money -- $100Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican -- $20Vandalized something -- $20Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10Beat up someone -- $20Been jumped -- $10Crossed dressed -- $10Given money to stripper -- $25Been in love with a stripper -- $20Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $0.10Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15Ever drive drunk -- $20Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while sti ll drunk -- $50Used toys while having sex -- $30Got drunk, passed and don't remember the night before -- $20Went skinny dipping -- $5Had sex in a pool -- $20Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20Cheated on your significant other -- $10Masturbated -- $10Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20Done oral -- $5Got oral -- $5Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- $25Stole something -- $10Had sex with someone in jail -- $25Made a nasty home video -- $15Had a threesome -- $50Had sex in the wild -- $20Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50Said you love someone but didn't mean it - - $25Went streaking -- $5Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15Been arrested -- $5Spent time in jail -- $15Peed in the pool -- $0.50Played spin the bottle -- $5Done something you regret -- $20Had sex with your best friend -- $20Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25Had anal sex -- $80Lied to your mate -- $5Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25
Let My Aura Breathe!
Ridiculous –
So I get on the metro this morning, and I’m running late, it’s about 8:30 so the train isn’t exceptionally crowded, which is nice. I step into the doorway and on the left side of the aisle the first and second row of seats are empty. How lovely.
Now I don’t like sitting in the first row if I can avoid it, I like having a barrier of sorts in front of me (yes, I’m neurotic, I know) so I make my way to the second row, and have a seat next to the window and begin to get settled, put my purse down beside me and open my Examiner.
I’m all cozy and settled with Butch Walker drowning out the din of the metro car (dark, noisy little world, remember?) when a man comes up and stands by my seat in the implied gesture of ‘I want to sit here’.
I’m so confused (which happens easily and often before I have my coffee). There is a empty row in front of me…and empty row to the right of me…Hell! Besides the fanny-pack-clad tourists at the other end of the car, we were practically the only people in the car! Doesn’t this man know the unspoken rule of the metro that “if there is a seat readily available that is NOT next to another person you take THAT seat!? And you must AVOID sitting next to someone if at all humanly possible??”
So um…um…ok……move my purse and my raincoat (they forecast said rain!) and skootch over so this man may sit beside me because apparently it’s the ONLY place in this ENTIRE car that he could sit. And because I was next to the window, it would have been awkward for me to switch seats…besides I was there first, dammit! So I calmed down a bit, maybe this is easily explained and he’s just getting off at the next station. No….5…count them…FIVE stops later, he finally gets off. At the Pentagon no less...well...THAT's comforting.
You might be saying, Red it’s obvious. Was he cute? Maybe he wanted to strike up a conversation? No no no no no. Russell Crowe/Clive Owen he was NOT. And to tell you the truth, not even a sexy Aussie accent could have made him any more attractive. He was I’m guessing 47, very into his blackberry, no attempt to do the creepy ‘let me be your sugar daddy’ come on. Which leaves me even MORE baffled.
I'm sorry, sir, are you imaginary friends sitting in the seats surrounding us??
Why, why creepy metro man did you have to invade my safety circle when we both could have enjoyed our separate commutes well…. Separately?
Ya know, I should have just turned to him and said….excuse me, sir…but my Aura needs room to breathe.
Side Notes:
*************
The drilling continues. Yesterday, they set off the fire alarm and while the clanging of the fire bell DID manage to drown out the sound of the drilling – evacuating the building and standing outside for 45 minutes wasn’t exactly my idea of a productive afternoon.
*************
Project Runway: Drama Drama Drama!
Jeffery – your wife is creepy looking and I’m pretty sure Laura’s right…you cheated!
Laura – you are the most fabulous pregnant woman I’ve ever seen!
Uli – kind of annoying me…not lovin the outfits
Micheal – the sequins on shirt pockets??? Ya…not so much
*********
Song of the day: I Wish I Were a Punk Rocker: Sandi Thom
So I get on the metro this morning, and I’m running late, it’s about 8:30 so the train isn’t exceptionally crowded, which is nice. I step into the doorway and on the left side of the aisle the first and second row of seats are empty. How lovely.
Now I don’t like sitting in the first row if I can avoid it, I like having a barrier of sorts in front of me (yes, I’m neurotic, I know) so I make my way to the second row, and have a seat next to the window and begin to get settled, put my purse down beside me and open my Examiner.
I’m all cozy and settled with Butch Walker drowning out the din of the metro car (dark, noisy little world, remember?) when a man comes up and stands by my seat in the implied gesture of ‘I want to sit here’.
I’m so confused (which happens easily and often before I have my coffee). There is a empty row in front of me…and empty row to the right of me…Hell! Besides the fanny-pack-clad tourists at the other end of the car, we were practically the only people in the car! Doesn’t this man know the unspoken rule of the metro that “if there is a seat readily available that is NOT next to another person you take THAT seat!? And you must AVOID sitting next to someone if at all humanly possible??”
So um…um…ok……move my purse and my raincoat (they forecast said rain!) and skootch over so this man may sit beside me because apparently it’s the ONLY place in this ENTIRE car that he could sit. And because I was next to the window, it would have been awkward for me to switch seats…besides I was there first, dammit! So I calmed down a bit, maybe this is easily explained and he’s just getting off at the next station. No….5…count them…FIVE stops later, he finally gets off. At the Pentagon no less...well...THAT's comforting.
You might be saying, Red it’s obvious. Was he cute? Maybe he wanted to strike up a conversation? No no no no no. Russell Crowe/Clive Owen he was NOT. And to tell you the truth, not even a sexy Aussie accent could have made him any more attractive. He was I’m guessing 47, very into his blackberry, no attempt to do the creepy ‘let me be your sugar daddy’ come on. Which leaves me even MORE baffled.
I'm sorry, sir, are you imaginary friends sitting in the seats surrounding us??
Why, why creepy metro man did you have to invade my safety circle when we both could have enjoyed our separate commutes well…. Separately?
Ya know, I should have just turned to him and said….excuse me, sir…but my Aura needs room to breathe.
Side Notes:
*************
The drilling continues. Yesterday, they set off the fire alarm and while the clanging of the fire bell DID manage to drown out the sound of the drilling – evacuating the building and standing outside for 45 minutes wasn’t exactly my idea of a productive afternoon.
*************
Project Runway: Drama Drama Drama!
Jeffery – your wife is creepy looking and I’m pretty sure Laura’s right…you cheated!
Laura – you are the most fabulous pregnant woman I’ve ever seen!
Uli – kind of annoying me…not lovin the outfits
Micheal – the sequins on shirt pockets??? Ya…not so much
*********
Song of the day: I Wish I Were a Punk Rocker: Sandi Thom
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Ready for my close up!
Thought this was cute...so I wanted to share :)
Apparently, according to the myheritage.com I look most like these gals...Don't know if I agree with the assessment...but it was sweet of them to lie to me :)
Apparently, according to the myheritage.com I look most like these gals...Don't know if I agree with the assessment...but it was sweet of them to lie to me :)
The X Factor
I had a dream last night about my best friend from childhood, Amber (I was in her wedding a few years ago but we don’t stay in touch regularly). In the dream, she decided she was going to date my college boyfriend (Mr. Non-Committal).
As the dream progressed, she told me that they had been talking and were going to start dating. I was furious. “You don’t date your best friend’s X of two years!” I yelled. “That’s just NOT OK!” I felt enraged, sad, confused and betrayed. As I slowly regained consciousness, I realized that it was, in fact, a dream. She was still happily married, and I was contently ignorant of his whereabouts.
I never even took Psyc 101 in college but I wonder if this has to do with the fact in a few weeks I will be the maid of honor in a friend from college’s wedding who is, indeed going to marry an X. Not Mr. NC, but an X nonetheless. Truth be told, while I’m sure it was very important to me at the time, our 4 month love affair turned out to be merely a sound bite in the “Irish Red” E True Hollywood Story (as yet unmade). I didn’t THINK I had any unexpressed, pent up anger about this. In fact NONE of it was pent up at the time (I expressed it very vocally by yelling and breaking his nose when he told me he had been sleeping with my best friend…one of the two times in my life I have ever been physically violent…don’t judge! I was very into my kickboxing phase).
Perhaps I need to get out my unexpressed anger and take up kickboxing again? Maybe I need to harness the anger and let it go through Yoga? Maybe I’m just sexually frustrated at the moment?? Maybe the continuing sound of the jack hammer is REALLY driving me nuts!* Maybe crazy dreams are contageous! Maybe it was the almonds I had before bed!?
Any shrinks out there want to have a go at my obviously deranged psyche?
* Yes...it's now scheduled to continue through NEXT Friday
Song of the day: 'So at last' - Butch Walker
Side note: I do not talk to Mr. NC and haven’t since about 2002. I’m usually on pretty good terms with my ex’s, but this one was a particularly bad break up, happened hard and fast.
As the dream progressed, she told me that they had been talking and were going to start dating. I was furious. “You don’t date your best friend’s X of two years!” I yelled. “That’s just NOT OK!” I felt enraged, sad, confused and betrayed. As I slowly regained consciousness, I realized that it was, in fact, a dream. She was still happily married, and I was contently ignorant of his whereabouts.
I never even took Psyc 101 in college but I wonder if this has to do with the fact in a few weeks I will be the maid of honor in a friend from college’s wedding who is, indeed going to marry an X. Not Mr. NC, but an X nonetheless. Truth be told, while I’m sure it was very important to me at the time, our 4 month love affair turned out to be merely a sound bite in the “Irish Red” E True Hollywood Story (as yet unmade). I didn’t THINK I had any unexpressed, pent up anger about this. In fact NONE of it was pent up at the time (I expressed it very vocally by yelling and breaking his nose when he told me he had been sleeping with my best friend…one of the two times in my life I have ever been physically violent…don’t judge! I was very into my kickboxing phase).
Perhaps I need to get out my unexpressed anger and take up kickboxing again? Maybe I need to harness the anger and let it go through Yoga? Maybe I’m just sexually frustrated at the moment?? Maybe the continuing sound of the jack hammer is REALLY driving me nuts!* Maybe crazy dreams are contageous! Maybe it was the almonds I had before bed!?
Any shrinks out there want to have a go at my obviously deranged psyche?
* Yes...it's now scheduled to continue through NEXT Friday
Song of the day: 'So at last' - Butch Walker
Monday, October 9, 2006
It's UnAmerican, dammit!
I HAD to blog about the game....otherwise 66 would have sent out the special victims unit to check my apartment for dead bodies!
This weekend the battle for the Paul Bunyan Trophy took place. Now unlike my extreme malice towards worthy (and not so worthy) opponents such as ND and Ohio State I don’t have any real hatred for the Spartans. Now when I was 6 and had a crush on little Kenny Cooper, who was a HUGE state fan, I decided that I would hate MSU so that we’d had something to argue about or something. Who knows what goes through the mind of a love struck 2nd grader.
Anyway, as my age and knowledge of football have increased I know that the Big Ten is better when State does well, College Football is better when State does well…hell – the state of Michigan is better when State does well (which leads to a stronger United States and the promotion of democracy throughout the world!). It’s for the greater success of mankind that State get off its butt and hire a good coach for once!
Anyway, so the Spartans were hosted in Ann Arbor this weekend and even after their sorry sorry performance during their Irish Match-up and blew a 30-point lead, I was still a little bit nervous going in.
State is like a pissed off girlfriend - you're pretty sure you'll still get some but its never 'easy'. Michigan’s stellar defense showed up for the game however. Awarding only 2 touchdowns to their 4. And while Michigan IS fierce this year, I believe the Spartans could have made a better showing. MSU is, has been and will forever be a very emotional team. It’s all completely mental for them and ND crushed whatever gumption, bravery, or balls (pardon the expression) this team had and trampled it all over Lansing. They were so busy pouting from last week that they forgot they were even on the field this week!
I’m thinking only of the fate of humanity when I say this, people: someone needs to take this trophy and give every one of them a swift kick in the @ss! Or whatever the athletic equivalent of prozac is!
If the Spartans fought like this during the battle of Thermopylae, we'd all be speaking Persian right now! (MAJOR bonus points if you know what I'm talking about).
********
In other news, I got new glasses this weekend. 4 of my guy friends have already told me they make me look like a “sexy librarian”. Are librarian’s supposed to be sexy?
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