Get Out the Matches

I think I’m just having a case of Monday BB (Bloggers-block) and I'm still trying to REMEMBER the weekend before I can decide what to WRITE about it!

However, there were some rumblings from up north - i.e. Canadian drama.

So the Canadian was scheduled to come down next month and take me to the wedding of a friend and an EX (nightmare, I know). I thought that since this the wedding of not only an ex, but an ex that cheated on me with the friend that he’s marrying (and I’m the maid of honor because I ‘introduced them’ , and also because I’m WAAAY too nice) that I needed to show up #1 looking UBER-hot and #2 with an even HOTTER date (think a tall (6’7), dark (parents are from South America) & handsome (JFK junior look-a-like) and did I mention BRILLIANT (a masters in IR from JHU and now top 10 in his law school class). A rational conclusion I believe. So Canadian was going to fly down, we were going to have a lovely weekend in a lovely hotel with lovely people etc (and might I add that he volunteered to go – I didn’t even ask. I think he was nervous that it’s on a military base and I cannot be held accountable for my actions when there are uniforms involved). You can tell where this is going....I know.

I stepped up the ‘nagging’ factor on Friday as he hadn’t gotten his plane ticket yet, and the wedding is 3 weeks away. Given his track record, while it IS improving he has NEVER been dependable. He’s had to work late, had friend 'emergencies', etc. and missed black tie events, concerts, parties, football games, you name it. Again, we’re working on this but the fact that he hadn’t made a monetary commitment to this weekend as yet had me a tad concerned.

So he called me on Saturday to say “don’t shoot me” and my stomach falls into my Nike’s. “what? ” “I might not be able to make it” “why? ” (sounding disappointed, unamused, short, and generally, displeased). Then he gives me the song and dance about how he has to be in court, do the lawyer thing, just scheduled, blah blah blah. But that he is filing for a continuance on Tuesday, the judge should rule then, there’s no reason NOT to give him the continuance and if he gets it he will book the fight that day.

Now I’m an understanding girl when it comes to relationships. I trust him that this is happening. I understand that it's his job. I know this. Normally I would just shrug it off and deal. However, I’ve gotta tell you that I’m upset. I KNOW it’s not his fault but I guess if I weren’t expecting it, if I weren’t conditioned to be endlessly disappointed by this man – IF HE COULD JUST FOLLOW THROUGH ON ONE G*DDAMNED THING ONE TIME I could deal.

I’m willing to bet any amount of money that he does not, in fact come. So I will show up at the wedding still looking UBER-hot but tragically, uber-single. What sucks is that when I RSVP’d us, the bride called me and said – “this isn’t the same Canadian that broke your heart, who’s death we were plotting for a good portion of 2004?” “yes it is but things are better, he’s changed blah blah blah” “well I’m skeptical but I’m glad you’re happy and I can’t wait to see you both.” So now I’ll have to listen to the bride say “I told you so.”*

Ya know, I should have known this would happen, the last wedding we went to together, he left me in the middle of the reception to go play poker with his buddies. I so I did what any normal woman would do….I spent the night with the Best Man at his suite at the Watergate.

I wonder what the military-base equivalent of that scenario would be?

On the one hand I feel like an IDIOT because I feel like I'm banging my head against a wall and not getting anywhere. On the other hand I didnt even ask him to come, he suggested it. I think I'm just mad at myself for getting excited about the weekend and thinking that it was ACTUALLY going to happen.

Anyway, folks, keep those matches handy for come tomorrow evening – if I am suddenly Red party-of-one…I’m going to start the Canadian Flag burning pile out on my balcony.



*ya - I'm listening to a classical music station on my computer...and the "Wedding March" just came on. I think I'm going to loose my lunch.

Family Values (Part deux)

Thanks for all the input everyone! Don't worry, i will be posting a much more interesting "men are idiots part 13" entry later today.

I just wanted to let you know that I followed ya'lls advice and sent the following email last night.

Baby Sis:

I’m having trouble getting a hold of you by phone so I thought I’d try email.

First of all, I got the invitation to your baby shower and I am so so so sorry I won’t be able to be there! I will, of course, be there in spirit.

Second, I talked to Princess the other day and she told me about the girls you have selected to be part of your bridal party on your wedding day. I would be lying if I said I weren’t disappointed and really hurt by your decision to include SIL (Sister in Law) and BF and not Princess and myself. I am also very confused as these girls, while they are fabulous and I love them, are technically unrelated to you and Princess and I are and…well, we have always felt close to you and we thought you felt the same way. Apparently we were wrong. We were raised to believe that family is one of the most important things in life – which is why I suppose I am so baffled by your decisions.

I know you’re under a lot of pressure as a new mom and planning a wedding is stressful. I’m sure it’s always hard to tell people that love you that you have not included them in your special day – I know Princess had a hard time telling her friends that you and I were the bridesmaids.

You know that I will love and support you no matter what but I feel very confused and hurt by this and thought you should know.

Much Love,


Update: To which Baby Sis Replied:

Red:

Wow, I really don't even know what to resopnd with. I am extremely shocked that you would act like this. I wasn't aware that I had to explain to you that you wouldn't be in my wedding. I chose family, just becuase they aren't blood family doesn't mean they aren't family. I have 6 siblings I would have to include, not just you and Princess.

I am very disapionted by your email, and I really have nothing else to say.

Love,
Baby SiS


Do you think this is Harsh?? I didn't mean to piss her off!!

I responded:

Baby Sis:

I’m sorry you’re disappointed by my email – I don’t think it was unfairly harsh. I was just confused by your decision and a little hurt and now that you have explained it to me I understand it a little bit better I suppose. As far as you being “shocked that I would act like this” – I’m not sure what you mean. I’m not mad or angry, or even upset with you. I just needed some clarification and I wanted to be honest with how I was feeling. I don’t think there is anything wrong with doing that.

I didn’t mean to upset you, Sis. I stated numerous times in my email that I love you and support you, and realize that you’re under a lot of pressure and that these things happen, as they did to Princess, I was just confused. That’s all.

I hope you’re not mad at me, I just needed to tell you how I felt.

Love,


OY!

Family Values

Baby Sis is twenty-five.

Baby Sis is pregnant.

Baby Sis is unmarried.

In my family….this is NOT cool. Have I mentioned my family? They really need no introduction – just picture a ‘My Big, Fat Greek Wedding’ mob – only Irish (duh)! Which means they’re louder, have quicker tempers, and are usually drinking.

Back to Baby Sis. Thankfully, she happens to be currently living with her wonderful boyfriend (now fiancé, thanks to my father’s ability to put the fear of death and god into the men that attempt to date his children). This man (we shall call him “blue eyes”) is loved my our family and so the pregnancy scenario is not QUITE the crisis situation you would imagine.

However, they will NOT be married by the time our little bundle of Irish Joy arrives (much to my father’s horror and I have no doubt the Red antecessors of old are turning summersaults in their respective crypts and graves) is because Baby Sis refuses to get married unless she can drink at the wedding (ya, you heard me right). Very responsible, Baby Sis, very responsible. Of course, maybe you should have tried responsible about FIVE MONTHS AGO AND USED A CONDOM! I should note that despite my personal opinion I have been her cheerleader and extremely supportive of the marriage and baby.

But I digress - back to the wedding. Baby Sis called me last week (during the Michigan State game half-time actually because we were both watching…) to tell me they had set the date for next August. Lovely. And then we preceded to joke and she promised me she would not sick me in a full length, full skirt, velvet gown nightmare the likes of which we were forced to sport as Big Sis’ (“Princess”) bridesmaids a few years ago.

Then last night I get a call from Princess (who I usually avoid) to tell me that Baby Sis has chosen her wedding party. “So are you on bachelorette duty or am i?” I asked half sarcastically. She paused and said ‘are you sitting down?” “ya” “neither” “huh?” “we, as in her big sisters, are NOT in the wedding party.” “what? ” “she’s having the GROOMS two sisters, OUR sister-IN-LAW, and her best friend FROM HIGH SCHOOL …that’s it”

(cue redheaded temper) “EXCUSE ME?? Does Dad know? ” “Uh-huh and he claims he’s not going to Baby Sis’ wedding. Sally (Dad’s wife) says it’s ridiculous and he is of course going and its her decision.”

Now I know that brides usually have to deal with hurting at least a few feelings and that we all have to be understanding of their decisions. And lord knows I'm already in my share of nuptual celebrations, hardly my favorite pasttime but...COME ON! There is not ONE blood relative slated to be next to her on her wedding day. And before you ask, we have not been fighting, had a falling out or ANYTHING like that.

So here is where I need your advice, kids. Do I tell her that we’re very hurt? Should I do as Princess suggests and just let it go and be glad we don’t have to do sh*t for the wedding and sit in the back of the church and make sarcastic comments the entire time? Do you agree with me this this is F*CKED UP???

Where’s Ann Landers when you need her?





P.S. While we're on the subject of outrage - Jeffery as the winner on Project Runway!? WTF?

The X Factor

I had a dream last night about my best friend from childhood, Amber (I was in her wedding a few years ago but we don’t stay in touch regularly). In the dream, she decided she was going to date my college boyfriend (Mr. Non-Committal).

Side note: I do not talk to Mr. NC and haven’t since about 2002. I’m usually on pretty good terms with my ex’s, but this one was a particularly bad break up, happened hard and fast.

As the dream progressed, she told me that they had been talking and were going to start dating. I was furious. “You don’t date your best friend’s X of two years!” I yelled. “That’s just NOT OK!” I felt enraged, sad, confused and betrayed. As I slowly regained consciousness, I realized that it was, in fact, a dream. She was still happily married, and I was contently ignorant of his whereabouts.

I never even took Psyc 101 in college but I wonder if this has to do with the fact in a few weeks I will be the maid of honor in a friend from college’s wedding who is, indeed going to marry an X. Not Mr. NC, but an X nonetheless. Truth be told, while I’m sure it was very important to me at the time, our 4 month love affair turned out to be merely a sound bite in the “Irish Red” E True Hollywood Story (as yet unmade). I didn’t THINK I had any unexpressed, pent up anger about this. In fact NONE of it was pent up at the time (I expressed it very vocally by yelling and breaking his nose when he told me he had been sleeping with my best friend…one of the two times in my life I have ever been physically violent…don’t judge! I was very into my kickboxing phase).

Perhaps I need to get out my unexpressed anger and take up kickboxing again? Maybe I need to harness the anger and let it go through Yoga? Maybe I’m just sexually frustrated at the moment?? Maybe the continuing sound of the jack hammer is REALLY driving me nuts!* Maybe crazy dreams are contageous! Maybe it was the almonds I had before bed!?

Any shrinks out there want to have a go at my obviously deranged psyche?

* Yes...it's now scheduled to continue through NEXT Friday

Song of the day: 'So at last' - Butch Walker