Law & Order

There is a jack hammer tearing up the parking garage in my office building.

It has been going on for four days.

It is so loud that my desk is shaking.

It sounds like a broken vibrator that needs to be put out of its misery.

It’s so loud I cannot make necessary phone calls because I CAN”T HEAR THE PERSON ON THE OTHER LINE. Hell! I can barely hear my secretary buzz me on my intercom! Its noon and I’ve already popped 6 Excedrin migraines.

I’m loosing my mind.

I can’t take it.

I AM GOING TO SNAP!

I can see the Law & Order, ripped-from-the-headlines’-episode now: (cue wavy dream sequence) Title: “Jack Hammer”. The premise: a sweet, smart, amazingly hot redhead played by Lindsey Lohan (hey! My L&O episode, my fantasy!) After much emotional and professional stress, she is pushed over the edge by the sound of a jackhammer pounding away, non stop in her office building for FOUR days.

One day her VP asks her to scrap a presentation she’s been working on for a week and a half because she’s decided to go in a different direction and…she just snaps…goes nuts… kills her VP and anyone else that has managed to piss her off in the last week or so (don’t worry – I’m really not this violent but this is L&O, and I wouldn’t be put on trial for just yelling at people or breaking down in tears now would I?).

Picture it, the courtroom scene, my lawyer cross-examining me, bringing in shrinks with theories, telling the jury that it wasn’t me but the sound of that jackhammer 6 hours a day, non stop, for 4 days straight that drove me to it. The jury comes back with a “not guilty on all counts” verdict and A.D.A Jack McCoy charges the construction company with…criminally loud…migraine inducing….maintenance work and orders the company to pay me $1.3 million dollars for mental and physical anguish. I rush into the arms of my boyfriend (played by Russell Crowe….again MY fantasy). And we live happily ever after! THE END

Ok, so I have a vivid imagination (and perhaps watch a little too much L&O)…BUT I’M LOOSING MY MIIIIINNNNDDDDDDDD!

Speaking of L&O, be sure to watch tonight because my friend, Will is in it!! (not sure what his role is, but he’ll be the QT, bald, African American with the killer smile!)

I 'Heart' DC

Have you ever stopped to think about how insanely lucky we all are to live here, right here in DC? Have you ever walked along 14th St. and stopped to notice the Washington Monument, encircled in flags on one your left and the U.S. Capitol on your right; or looked out the window of the metro train after Regan Airport or driving on 395 and watched the skyline come into view? Not the tall, light abstructing steel and glass adorned buildings that define cities such a New York or LA, but the more subdued, prestigious, marble clad monuments that rise up above the Potomac?

Today marks my 4th anniversery as an official resident of the District of Columbia.

Four years ago I packed everything I could into MK’s teeny tiny little Silver Saturn and pulled onto the Indiana toll road with REM's “It’s the end of the world as we know it” blaring on the radio. Without jobs, without ever having seeing the hole-in-the-wall we’d leased (a 2 room converted attic that we thought was just the coolest place we’d ever seen), without the good sense to be nervous.

Well the past four years have FLOWN by, a lot of ups and downs, such is life I suppose. I’ve lived in two fabulous apartments since growing tired of the two-room palace on 19th street, got my kitten, boys have come and gone and come back again, I was diagnosed with cancer 6 months after my arrival, found my calling in life and a job I adore, kicked cancer’s ass, I've gone to innagural balls, made wonderful friends, and at the end of the day, I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.

So thank you, DC for being so good to me and for helping me become the person I am today (for better or worse).

Bring on the next four years - I'm ready!

Hall of Mirrors

Thanks, ya’ll for the encouragement not to give up on men all together. I’m sure I’ll be fine – strike that….I AM fine. Especially since everything came out many, many weeks after the fact.

I’m not going to go into detail about any of the communication that has passed between myself, WPB, or anyone else over the past 48 hours but let me just say – there are three strong, beautiful, AMAZING women in this story and he didn’t deserve any of them.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am usually the first one to forgive, not hold a grudge, and move on – so much so that it comes as a surprise to most people (small example: In college, my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend and she preceded to date him behind my back FOR SIX MONTHS (while I was crying to her because I knew he had cheated on me and I didn’t know who with, blah blah blah) – …I am the maid of honor in her wedding next month, case and point). However, f*ck with my family or friends…and I will hate you till the day I die.

I think that the past 48 hours have been the proverbial ‘straw’ (of camel fame) – with all the sh*t I’ve been dealing with, this is the one thing I chose to lash out about and I suppose it didn’t help that I had someone to share my outrage, then again, maybe it did. Ultimately I’m glad it’s over and I hope it’s done.

But after two sleepless nights, emotional exhaustion, smoking enough Marlboro Lights to give a small dog lung cancer several times over, and more self reflection than the Hall of Mirrors at Versailles, all mounted on top of a crazy work schedule…I’m just trying to get through this week without giving myself an ulcer.

So tonight, it’s off to Yoga followed by a bubble bath, a glass of wine and an Ambien.

Are You Kidding Me?

Ohhhh it's just TOO good!

Perhaps many of you may recall the WPB debacle of July/August? Well, my new favorite person has shed some additional light on the subject (boys, please take note of the public service announcement). Please read it - it's just too good.

It turns out, dear friends, that WPB was an even BIGGER scumbag than origionally imagined. Perhaps this is just my wholesome, farmgirl upbringing coming out, but I generally assume the best about people until I am proven otherwise.

Now I KNEW we weren't exclusive - but FIVE other women, sometimes with just HOURS inbetween the last girl and me!? ARE YOU KIDDING!? And LYING to me when I asked you point blank if you were sleeping with a specific girl? Telling me you were just friends? Sick.

Here's the real kicker - I was talking with my dad about him, and my reservations about continuing to see him (because I knew he was seeing other people, etc.) and my dad said, "I wouldn't worry about it...if someone is a good person, 9 times out of 10 they will do the right thing". Well, the incorrect assumption was clearly one on my part - thinking he was a good person. The fact that I wasted even 5 minutes thinking about him or missing him makes my stomach turn.

I'm serious. If things keep going in this direction, I really think that by the time I hit 28....my entire faith inthe male gender will be lost.

RCN is the devil

Sorry for the silence, Jordan! Work (and life) has been crazy AND I have been sans internet for the majority of the weekend! Sufficet to say RCN has gotten much more than an earful from me the past few days. Anyway....on to the weekend report:

Friday

The evening began right after work I literally sprinted to the metro at 5, ran up the escalator two steps at a time, just made the train caught my breath, then ran up some moreescalatorss in order to meet TravelGirl for drinks. For those of you who don't know her, whatever the cyber equivelent of 'sprint...don't walk' is...do it.... to her blog! This woman is talented, beautiful, energetic and smart, and funny as hell! It was great to see her because her fabulously hectic travel schedule has made it impossible over the past month or so to catch up. So we chatted about life, drama, man whores that we know and used to love. Well if nothing else came out of the whole WPB debacle, I met her so for all its fucked-upedness, it was worth it.

Saturday

Well on Saturday morning I woke up and moaned because after I said goodbye to TravelGirl, I hung out with the sweetest music teacher ever (explanationination to follow in a later post) let's just say, I ran into my intern at the Front Page and hijinks ensued until I finally left the Lucky Bar around 2:30 a.m.

I had promised Barbie #1 and company I'd go to the Virginia wine festival with them. So I drug my hungover ass out of bed and attempted to make myself look human, however, the day didn't go quite as planned. After driving for 2 hours to Leesburg, we reached traffic that was at a complete standstill for TEN MILES outsfestivale frestibal! Apparently the highways of the bustling metropolis of Leesberg Virginia ill equipped for the influx of all the wine lovers of Virginia simultaneously. Imagine that!



So after getting tired of sitting in the car, being hung over and craving the proverbial 'hair of the dog' (cuz ya know you can't be hungover if you don't stop drinking) we all decided to bag the festival and orchestrate our own wine tasting. We found a restaurant in an old barn? Or mill? Or something provincial. And it was AMAZING the food, the wine, the company.....the wine ....so the 9 of us sat in this restaurant for 4 hours and had sooo much fun. Only downfall was that I didn't get to meet up with Allen. Sorry, doll maybe next time.