Hogmanay

Hogmanay

No – its not some itchy, tropical sexually transmitted disease.

Wikipedia defines “Hogmanay” (pronounced IPA: [?h??m??ne?] as: the Scottish word for the last day of the year and is synonymous with the celebration of the New Year in the “Scottish manner.” It is, however, normally only the start of a celebration which lasts through the night until the morning of New Year’s Day or, in some cases, 2 January.

In other words – it is the term for the longest, drunkest, craziest, most fun New Years Eve party on the planet….AND I’m GOING TO BE THERE!!!!

[Scarlett does a little dance]

Not to mention that I’ll be surrounded by cute men with accents – swoon! Could there be a better way to ring in the New Year??? I think not!

And so I have decided to drag my Celtic heritage laden ass to Scotland. The land of Braveheart, kilts, Scotch, Sean Connery, Mary Queen of Scots, Gerard Butler!

Jersey and I will be leaving DCA the afternoon of December 29, arriving in Edinburgh on December 30^th  (via Detroit, via Amsterdam, not the most direct route, I’ll grant you but…). We'll arrive just in time for the “Night Afore” festival, which is essentially a New Year’s Eve EVE celebration! 

Will, of course post more info soon – just thought I’d share! If anyone else feels like freezing their arses off on the Royal Mile the night of December 31^st, please join the fun!

Frankly, I cannot WAIT!

The Better Things in Life

It’s been a year. Almost to the day. And Thanksgiving 2008 certainly topped the one-way vacation to Hades I survived the previous year. Everything was better, the family, CERTAINLY the food and most DEFINITELY the company.

However, it’s a definite milestone. No longer am evaluating the events of 2008 through the rose-hued Gucci eye wear of 2007. (i.e. last summer I was living with fuckhead  (sigh…sniffle… sniffle…gag…) .

Now the comparison develops more along the line of:

Last year I wasted my holiday season crying bawling my eyes out on a daily hourly basis over an emotionally stunted Neanderthal, in a job that, at that point, I was less than enthusiastic about while sporting an additional 35 pounds.

THIS holiday season began with a fantastic Thanksgiving in which I cooked a significant portion of the meal (a fun new hobby – GASP! I know, very uncharacteristically Scarlett). I have been invited to three black-tie holiday parties, its December 4^th and my Christmas tree is up, my holiday shopping is done AND last night, I attended the lighting of the National Christmas Tree (with kick ass VIP seating).

I like this comparison. I have a feeling the fabulous gap will only continue to widen into the New Year.

It’s good stuff, kids!

Romantic endeavors and drama aside, this is already shaping up to be a fantastic holiday season, and the best I can remember. In honor of this turning point, I've unlocked my "Breakup Files" . I may have inadventently deleted a few....but reading over these very painful entries really helped me to see how much farther I am away from that pain. And it helped a bit. (Deep breath). I truly am at a better place than I've been in just about three years.

And THAT, my friends, is something to celebrate!

Merry Christmas to My Ass?

All I need is a great big bow on my ass....as if it could get any bigger!

Pulling the Plug

I’ve been dumped.

After a certain age…say…14...I’m guessing we all have.

Via email, phone call, Post-It or just the failure to respond to communication. These methods are easy, distant, avoidant and thus preferred. Let’s face it, the last time you probably broke up with someone in person was in the 2^nd grade cafeteria because they wouldn’t trade their Little Debbie snack cake for your carrots.

But in the end, its all the same thing - Rejection.

The statement either declared or implied is “I just doesn’t want to be with you.“ For whatever reason, in whatever context - it is always a bit of an ego blow. Because, let’s face it: more often than not, it is, in fact, you and ultimately, you’re not what they want.

And it’s fine - or at least it will be 3 glasses in.

After all, it’s the boring ones, the safe ones who never put themselves out there that never get hurt or know how to deal with the rejection, which is, admittedly, a useful life skill.

It’s a life skill and an art form that I, perhaps not so proudly, have mastered. I am the queen of the ’move on’. Being possession of such a cultivated talent you’d think I’d be able apply it more readily. Utilize my experience in a constructive manner. You would be wrong.

Sadly, and with much frustration, I seem unable to initiate a drama free break up. Then again, does such a thing even exist?

Case and point, my break up with Army in July - disaster. In fact, so disastrous that he recently de-friended me on Facebook along with an email containing the explanation that I’m a commitment phobic, heartless bitch and he never wants to hear from me again. Lovely.

On the receiving end, I was seeing LAX, off and on for a little bit…at least he had the decency to write me an email explaining why he hadn’t been in touch. That he’d met someone else and it had “progressed quickly” - my translation, she slept with him on the second date, whereas I had not so much as permitted him to steal second base after date 6ish??

So why am I so bad at the break up? Men seem to have it down to a science. I have no hesitations about not returning a phone call or even escaping out the back door if a blind date makes me wish I were back in that 2^nd grade cafeteria purely for the sophisticated conversation.

Rejection after the first or even second date leaves no scars, only minor bruises. But it’s the not calling or not picking up the phone after the third date…or the fifth. When you’ve gotten to know someone just enough to care whether or not you hurt them, even if you can’t see a future with them in it.

Because at that point, the rejection isn’t ‘we have no chemistry’ or ‘I don’t like the wine you ordered’ or whatever other petty reasons we find to dismiss someone within the first 5 minutes. By this point, its more personal, it goes deeper.

So how do you do it? What is the most humane? The adult approach - be straightforward? Leave no doubt? Or are you a fan of the disappearing act? Stop picking up the phone, change your phone number, possibly your address? Hide in your apartment and pretend no one’s home until the big, bad, scary relationship seeking man goes away?

Personally I’m a fan of the fizzle, which lets the relationship die a kind, slow death. The fizzle takes the dying relationship off life support and basically lets it go peacefully, quietly without any drama, fuss or ceremony.

The problem is that this approach doesn’t work so well on the persistent types of men. And frankly sometimes, even when the relationship is diagnosed as terminal, I’m not always ready to pull the plug.

Admissions of Guilt

By way of update - I've been sans personal computer for almost 2 months now and, as you might imagine, its a little difficult pouring my heart out onto a work computer which is currently my one and only gateway into the blogosphere but will try. 

Currently trying to dust off, lubricate, de-rustify and re-build what remains of my writing skills....

Frankly, much like my leg muscles and their current lack of familiarity with the elliptical trainer, I'm afraid it may prove to be a painful though ultimately worthwhile process.